The here and now ........

So .......

How did I end up here?
How did I end up in this crazy emotional battlefield?

When exactly did I head for this direction?
When exactly did everything got in such a rubble that
I did not see that I was heading into this highway?

Is there any offramps?
Is there any onramps to another road?

I need a new road - one that is sane and perfect and makes sense
because ....

Right now I feel like this road is like a highway that has a dead end
a road that is going to make me CRASH into disaster!


I'm always the one that is forever keeping friends on the right pathway ...
I'm always the one keeping a level head,
but
somehow
somewhere
i've lost it.

For some stupid - real absurd
STUPID
stupid
reason
I left sanity
I left logic
I left all reason
out of the equation and now

I am on this road to nowhere .........

Me - I've lost 'control' - I just 'lost' it,
I need to find something to hold on to
a compass to show me direction,
'cause I've lost my way, my purpose, my logic.

I am not thinking straight anymore,
I'm not thinking clearly .....
I'm not practising what I am forever 'preaching'

i've done it - I've gone beyond reason and i'm getting burned
I'm feeling the flames ..... gnawing at my bones
and for some or other reason, since I left logic and reason behind,
I will have to take the fall for this.

I will have to fall and hit ground, and i know this is
NOT going to be easy.

Walls are there for a reason - we don't build them around our hearts
for decor, to keep strangers out ......
we build them for protection.
protection against those that are used to breaking walls
those - regardless of what they say and pretend to be -
those that knows exactly which tools to use to
break
them
off
silently.

Unsure if I have the strength to build them up again.
Unsure if I want to

How 'bout learning from the one's that wreck our walls and
start playing their game.

After all ................
RELATIONSHIPS is a
joke - it exists in you head, the feelings you seem to think that's real
they are a figment of your imagination
they are made up stories, they are FAKE.

To those friends that are in healthy and happy relationships
hang on to your moments
hang on the the moments that keeps you sane


Believe me ....... of all places,this is the worse place to be
this is hell and absolute torture.


Here's to

love, life and happiness

I give a toast to you

LOVE - get a freaking pet
Life - live it and break other's walls down
Happiness - enjoy the moments of laughter you see in other's eyes,
trust it will not be as short lived as yours!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!